Tuesday, July 9, 2013

She Walks in Beauty

What every woman needs to hear...at least once in her life.


By Lord Byron (George Gordon) 1788–1824 Lord Byron (George Gordon)
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Friday, June 28, 2013

For My Mom

Skipping Stones and Rippling Memories
Some of my best memories of childhood live here, it is a peaceful place with a forest of stately mature oak trees and reach to the sky pines. I spent steamy summer days playing on the dam. My brother and I would climb to the top, lay down and log roll all the way to the bottom, giggling all the way, only to jump up and race back to the top, over and over again.
There is a creek that winds its way through to the lake destination. The creek is alive with shimmering minnows that dart and scramble under rocks to elude capture. Crawdads, big and fat from feasting on the minnows also live under the rocks lying in wait to pinch little prying fingers. Paper cups in hand, my brother and I would relocate as many crawdads as we could find to their new temporary cup home. When we tired of catching minnows and crawdads, we would find the perfect smooth worn rock to skip across the creek. Then the contests would begin to see how far and how many skips we could coax out of one perfect stone. The creek led up to the spillway of the dam, if there had been a lot of rain it made for the most spectacular waterfall we had ever seen. The sound of the turbulent water spilling over reverberated in our ears and was loud enough to muffle our childhood voices.
In the meadow between the creek and the dam, wildflowers of every sort bloomed in great quantities and making a daisy crown was an easy task (even though I don’t think you were supposed to pick the flowers). My brother and I would gather them to make glorious crowns to wear on our heads. This was also a perfect spot to lie back and stare dreamily up at the brilliant blue sky with luminous feathery clouds floating by leisurely in a sort of lasseiz-faire parade. Rabbits, turtles, frogs, and all manner of wildlife shared our playground and with its twelve hundred acres there was plenty of room for everyone.
During every visit, my mother, would spread a large worn quilt under a shady tree; kick off her shoes to quickly occupy the space reading a book. In my minds eye I still see her there, reading peacefully, legs crossed Indian style, and her long hair turning blazingly golden as the sunlight dappling through the trees illuminated it. Her tranquility was frequently broken by calls from us to look at some new treasure we had discovered in the creek, usually a big piece of green or purple glass that my brother and I called volcanic rock. Some of the treasures were transported home to serve as doorstops for our room or take their place of honor in our rock collections.
When we tired of playing in the creek, our mother would almost always have to leave her spot to retrieve us from the Mayan temple across the road. The temple, according to the large sign in front of it, is an antiquated sandstone blast furnace built in 1833, but at the time it was the Mayan temple that my brother and I would attempt scaling given even the slightest opportunity. I was happy to offer him up as sacrifice to the Gods on more than one occasion. Our mother would glance from her book to notice we were missing from the creek or field and make her way across the road to retrieve us giving strong reprimands, a swat on our behinds, and then threaten to take us home. She steered us firmly to her quilt and required that we sit and think about our behavior. I am famous in family circles for my quote on one such occasion, you can make me sit, but you can’t make me think.
Lunch time inevitably came, Mom would pull our sandwiches or cold chicken from the well worn woven basket and we would feast. As a special treat we would have a Nehi to wash it down with, always grape or orange. Grape was my favorite. Soda bottles were glass then and I swear the pop tasted colder and better than it does now. Why is it food always tastes better outside? This thinking may not be true for everyone but I think everything has a sharper, clearer taste outside.
After our picnic lunch mom would put her shoes back on. At that time she always wore Minnetonka moccasins, the short kind with the fringe around the ankle. They were well loved and reportedly just like going barefoot. She would then find a large stick suitable for walking and take the lead on our afternoon expedition on one of the hiking trails. Imagining we were the historic Indians of the area my brother and I always gained the lead scrambling up hills and climbing rocks. I, being older would be a good distance ahead of my brother and “ambush” him from my hiding spot behind one of the large rocks. One of us always ended up with a scraped knee or elbow which our mother treated with her trusty first aid kit in her pack. The trees were old, anciently old and on either side of the trail the tops had grown to meet each other like they were playing a game of London Bridge. The sounds of the forest were all around, water running, tree branches popping, and ground squirrels scurrying, more often than naught you could see a rabbit or a squirrel that was brave enough to show itself with all the raucous we were making. I have wonderful memories of the aromatic smelling blanket of leaves and pine needles under my feet on the trail and the softness of the green moss covering the rock that we would sit on to rest. We talked about everything on those walks, the history of the area, what the names of the trees were and each name of wildflowers discovered. This was where I learned the all important life lesson, leaves of three let it be. My mother was a wealth of information when it came to history and nature and either knew the answer to our never-ending questions or would tell us that we could look it up when we got home. Some of the structures along the trails were cave-like or actual caves; this is where my brother and I would practice our best yodeling to hear our echoes.
We spent a good deal of our summers here, swimming in the lake, attending family reunions or doing the activities I have recalled. As an adult I learned our frequent trips were to avoid our father killing us because he worked midnights and this was our mother’s way of keeping us from disturbing his sleep while we were on summer vacation from school.
I visit Lake Vesuvius often to this day. It has changed over the years with improvements to make it more visitors friendly. The stately pines leading the way to the park still remain and my body sighs and relaxes almost immediately when I reach that winding part of the entrance. I enjoy walking the now paved trail to the rock overhang and can spend hours there with a book or lost in deep thought. I primitive camped there several times when my boys were small and we had the same great adventures of my childhood. Sadly, I have come to know that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for this beautiful place, graffiti on the rocks and picnic shelters is a growing problem and careless hikers often leave behind their trash.
This lake has served as my therapist for many years. It is my go-to place for solitude and deep thinking. It is a beautiful example of nature in a world otherwise bothered by non-stop noise and ugliness. When I see young families there it evokes all the precious memories I have of the many summer days I spent skipping rocks, rolling in the grass, and getting bitten by chiggers. In my young adulthood days I hiked probably over half… if not all of the park and only got lost once, well not lost, temporarily directionally impaired, but it was scary being unsure of which way to take to get back to the road when dusk starts settling in at the end of the day. Cell phones don’t work well there, too many thick trees, which I think is a good thing. I remember a time when everyone didn’t know where you were every minute of the day and a phone wasn’t ringing constantly; it was a good time.
I believe Lake Vesuvius is where my mom’s spirit lives, her young spirit, the one from the time in her life when she was still vibrant with dreams of the future. The time before the world picked her up and slammed her down to reality, the time before the cancer won.
If there is a God, I believe he lives here as one of his summer homes. Surely he is very proud of the handy work he accomplished at Lake Vesuvius. It’s probably were he goes to get away from all the demands of his job, the never ending prayers, the comforting during times of disaster, all traded in for quiet streams and wind whispering leaves. He is probably neighbors with my mom. I bet they skip rocks or take walks around the shore of the lake. At the end of the day I’d say they eat cold chicken or cold cut sandwiches in picnic style on mom’s old quilt under that big oak tree a perfect spot watch the purples, oranges, and streaks of scarlet appear in the vast sky just before twilight.
A Poem


I came across this poem tonight while looking for a paper...It was handwritten on yellowed paper and tucked inside a book..no author was listed if you know who wrote it leave me a comment as I have googled the hell out of it and cannot find it. Great poem though and exactly how I feel about love.




Full Moon Song

And what if your vows prove false in time?
And, what if I'm left to weep.
Is the rose less sweet in its crimson prime,That its beauty cannot keep?
Yet tonight the moon is full,
And the heart is richer that chances pain
Than the heart in cotton wool.

Then what, my love, if your love is brief?
Tonight you are mine to kiss,
And better a century of grief
Than never an hour of bliss.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Eng306J

In my writing class this week we are to write about an intense emotion and event that may have only taken a few minutes of time to unfold, but we are to describe in great exaggerated detail for the reader, it had to be 1.5 to 2 pages in length. I was required to title the work with the emotion, but NOT use that word to describe the feelings anywhere in the essay. This is more difficult than it first seemed. This is what I wrote I appreciate your feedback. Do you or can you feel the pain in this essay?

Pain
I was poised to descend the six steep concrete steps that lead to the backyard of my parent’s home. A familiar feeling of whirling overtook me, the stairs moved. I staggered to the right of the top step. My foot is half on half off of the top step, I am losing my balance. Arms flailing wildly, I am suspended for a second in midair much like Wile E. Coyote; if I were holding a sign it would read…Gravity Lessons.

I feel the scrape and burn of the concrete biting me on the back of my thigh, the pins and needles of nerve endings awakening and springing into action. My view of the world is alternated rapidly from bright blue sky to the hard sun baked ground. I hear my Dad’s booming voice yell my name, it seems as if he is off at a distance that I am unable to reach, and his voice sounds both alarmed and terrified. My heart is pounding; I feel its rapid lub-dub pounding in my ears. My stomach has changed its location and is now located in my throat; a sick, sinking feeling of impending doom. I feel as if I am at the top of the rollercoaster; the moment that you spiral at the speed of sound downward, the ground is imminent. I count each stick, rock and blade of grass along the way. I see the sidewalk at the edge of the grass and think, God don’t let me hit the sidewalk. I meet the ground, with an intense bright flash of piercing white light, and then the empty black darkness of nothingness.

In a few moments, everything is fuzzy and out of focus, I hear muffled sounds of voices a million miles away in a tunnel of some sort, am I dead? Things are becoming clearer slowly, I make a conscious effort to roll myself over, the world is spinning wildly, and I hear a deep guttural groan escape my body. With my eyes closed, I can feel some kind of hot, sticky liquid running down the right side of my head. My hand is trembling as I reach up to investigate; and it returns with a bright scarlet mess.
I open my eyes again and see two strangers peering down at me. They ask if I can move, I am trying to answer, but I cannot get my words to come. Move? I am barely breathing; my ribs feel like I have an elephant sitting on them. Every muscle of my body is crying, no… screaming from the impact. I can taste dirt and spit out some grass. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand; all of my teeth seem to still be here. To my left is my dad, cell phone in hand, and pasty white asking if he should call an ambulance. I manage to say no, no bones feel broken, but my skin feels like it is missing in a few areas.

The strangers are two women, my dad’s neighbors who heard the screams. With one of them on each side of me they help me stand. My body is making very loud protests and I feel nauseated and still dizzy. With my head pounding like a driving thunderstorm, I make my way with assistance slowly and carefully to sit down. My dad calls his next door neighbor and family friend Lisa, a nurse; to come over to assess me. She tells me I need to go to the hospital to be checked out. I agree…and make my way to the emergency room.